Close Your Eyes
by sablecain
Summary: Trilogy of missing scenes & follow-up to "hide and seek" Hope you enjoy COMPLETE
1. Default Chapter

_Title: Close Your Eyes_

_Author: Sablecain_

_Spoilers: Season one, episode "Hide and Seek"_

_Disclaimer: All things SGA belong to MGM, Gecko, Showtime, the Sci-Fi Channel_

_Summary: Trilogy of missing scenes & follow-up tag for "Hide and Seek"_

_Thanks to: NT…with a lot of prodding and encouragement she helped me turn one small missing scene into three and…Tipper-She's to blame you know! All mistakes – they're mine._

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Rodney looked at his watch and then down to the device in his hand, his heart beating faster as he paced the hallway outside the main science lab. Ten minutes. He only had ten minutes left before he could test the small device, before he could check to see if Beckett's ATA gene therapy had worked on him.

His hands twisted around, flipping the small piece of ancient technology over and back again for the umpteenth time. The dull green crystal mesmerized him. The ancient texts he'd found with it hadn't been as difficult to decipher as he'd originally thought. The concept amazed him—a personal shield. If he was right, if the gene therapy had worked then, when he placed the small piece on his chest, it would create animpenetrable force field all around him, protecting him from everything that might do him harm. He grinned at the thought as he turned and paced past the labs doors again.

He knew he could go in, should find someone to help him test out his theory but—there just wasn't anyone in there that he wanted to share this with, and what if the gene therapy hadn't worked on him? He didn't want any of his fellow scientists to see his disappointment. He sighed anxiously and looked again at his watch. Seven more minutes. Damn, why did time have to pass so slowly when you really wanted to do something? He stopped pacing and tried to settle himself, forcing himself not to move at all for a couple of seconds.

He didn't really feel any different, he thought, closing his eyes and concentrating hard. No, he didn't feel different at all. Should he? The device felt slick in his sweaty grip. He wanted so much to be able to test ancient technology. Just to be able to work it on his own and not have to go running after Major Sheppard or Carson whenever he wanted to try something.

"What are you doing?"

Rodney opened his eyes, startled by Sheppard's sudden appearance and thrown by his question. "I uh…I was just…uh. What are you doing here?" he fumbled around for an answer, trying to decide how much he wanted to share with the Major.

Sheppard raised an eyebrow as if to indicate the obvious. "Trying to walk through the hallway." He looked from Rodney to the doors of the science lab. "They kick you out already?" heasked with a wry grin.

McKay scowled. "No. They did not. I just didn't feel like going inside."

"Oh." John nodded as if Rodney's answer made all the sense in the world. John couldn't guess why McKay didn't want to hang out with the other scientists, but he didn't blame the man. His run ins with some of the scientists had left much to be desired. Most of them treated him with an obvious measure of disdain as if they were better than him. The rest were just too uptight for his liking. So far McKay seemed different. Sure he acted like he was smarter than everybody else, but he probably was. Other than that, McKay seemed to treat everyone the same. Maybe heshould give Rodney a chance before he lumped him in with all the other stuffed shirts.

"What's that?" He gestured toward the device.

"This?" Rodney unconsciously tightened his grip on the mechanism. "This? It's just something I'm going to test out in a minute here." He looked at his watch again, ignoring the way Sheppard's eyes narrowed at him.

"Wait." John snapped his fingers. Rodney jumped. "Beckett was going to tryhis gene therapy on you today, wasn't he?"

"Yeah. So."

"Well?"

"Well what?"

"Did it work?" John rolled his eyes but Rodney didn't miss the excitement in them. It took him a moment to realize the excitement was FOR him.

"Uh, I was just about to test it," McKay admitted nervously.

"With that?" John motioned to the device again.

McKay nodded. "Found it in the lab and think it's a personal shielding mechanism of some sort." He rattled off a few more facts he'd learned from the ancient texts he'd found with it until John jumped in, interrupting impatiently.

"Go on then."

"What?"

"Try it already!" John waved at the green crystal, almost as anxious as McKay himself had been only a few minutes earlier.

"Oh. Right, right." He didn't know Sheppard that well yet—but he could use help with testing the device and Sheppard wouldn't care if it failed to work. Plus, if it failed, maybe he could convince the Major to try it out. Rodney checked his watch again and grinned. "Right," he repeated then closed his eyes, took a deep breath and raisedthe device to his chest.

There was a weird sensation, like chills running all through him for a moment and when he opened his eyes and pulled his hand away…the device stayed attached to his chest, glowing brightly.

"Do I look different?" heasked seriously.

Sheppard smirked. "Nope. Though you appear to have questionable fashion sense for jewelry," he teased, enjoying Rodney's scowling reaction.

"Ha. Ha."

"What now?" John questioned.

"Um," Rodney grinned. "Hit me."

"What?" John shook his head.

"Hit me! It'sthe perfect first test." Rodney motioned for Sheppard to comply.

John shrugged and threw a half-hearted punch at Rodney's arm. He hit resistance as a glowing green perimeter blocked his hand. His fingers stung from the impact. "Cool!"

Rodney nodded. "Ok. Ok. Ok, now something more." He glanced around the hall, searching for an idea.

"I know." John turned and ran down the hall a few steps, stopping by a dead looking tree. He grabbed a decayed branch and broke it off with a sharp snap. He returned to McKay waving the branch like a baseball bat.

Rodney laughed. "Give it a good swing."

Sheppard pulled back and swung with obvious force. McKay closed his eyes and tensed up at the last minute, expecting a painful blow to his side. He felt nothing and heard John yelp. Opening his eyes he found John hopping around, shaking his hand. "You okay?" Rodney asked with concern.

Sheppard nodded. "Sprung back on me. You?"

"I'm fine."

"What now? Want me to throw you into the wall?" John asked eagerly.

"You're enjoying this," Rodney accused.

John waggled his eyebrows as he grabbed McKay's arm. "A bit. Ready?"

"I'll remember this." Rodney threatened, nodding. "Go."

John spun Rodney around, gaining momentum before hurling the scientist into the wall. He cringed at the sound of McKay slamming into the metal, but laughed as Rodney simply turned around making a face that assured the Major he was fine. "That is really amazing." He stared at the small device, marveling at how thoroughly it was protectingMcKay. "What next?"

You could…" Rodney paced a few steps away from John and then stopped, spinning to face the Major again. "Shoot me!" His eyes glistened mischievously.

"No way." John shook his head.

"Come on!" Rodney pleaded. "You just saw how well it works. Wing me or something. You're a good shot. I trust you…please."

John's eyes widened as he debated inwardly. Rodney stood, hands outstretched, nodding encouragingly. Slowly Sheppard grinned and reached for his sidearm. "If this doesn't work."

"It will. It will," Rodney cut him off.

"IF it doesn't…." John raised his voice, as he turned the safety on his weapon off. This was crazy. McKay was crazy. He couldn't believe he was doing this.

"Don't worry. I won't blame you." McKay smiled.

"Yeah right." John leveled his gun and aimed at Rodney's thigh. "Ready?"

"Yeah, yeah. Shoot already."

"You make it so easy." John remarked sarcastically. "On three."

"Just…."

The shot echoed in the hallway, surprising them both. They stared as the shield activated, stopping the bullet instantly. The tiny shaped ball of metal dropped to the floor with a harmless clatter.

John's eyes lifted to meet McKay's. "Did you see that?"

Wide eyed, Rodney nodded with awe and then burst into a smug smile. "Didn't feel a thing."

The lab doors opened suddenly. Dr. Kavanagh poking his head cautiously into the hallway as Sheppard nonchalantly turned away and holstered his weapon. "What the hell is going on out here?" Kavanagh looked from one smiling man to the other. They both looked guilty as hell.

"Nothing." John managed to keep his voice even.

"But I thought I heard…" The tall scientist frowned disapprovingly as McKay tilted his head to the side as if bored. "Never mind. Keep it down out here. Some of us are working."

As soon as the door slid closed again, McKay sneered. "Some of us are working" he mimicked, his head bobbing back and forth.

Sheppard laughed, positive now that McKay definitely didn't fall into the 'uptight scientist' category. John was nearly bouncing in place now. "Forget him, follow me." He motioned for Rodney to come with him and started toward the center tower and the gateroom. "I've got an idea."

Rodney followed easily, feeling exuberant. This was turning out to be a lot of fun, a lot more fun than experimenting with someone like Kavanagh. He was enjoying this new aspect of friendship with the Major, and on top of that-- Beckett's gene therapy had worked! It'd worked on him. He'd tested his first piece of Ancient technology and now…now he was invulnerable. A feeling of power swept over him along with a renewed confidence in his place on this mission. He was safe from everything…from anything. Nothing could stop him now. He smiled widely as they entered the gateroom and Sheppard pointed to an upper balcony with a questioning look. Rodney nodded. "Let's do it," he said even as he mentally measured the distance he'd fall. It didn't matter; he could do it, he thought. He'd just close his eyes and enjoy knowing that he was invulnerable.


	2. Count to Ten

_Title: Count to Ten_

_Author: sablecain_

_Disclaimers and acknowledgements in part one_

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Rodney stormed out of the lab, his face hot with anger and embarrassment. How dare they look at him that way? Like he'd done all this on purpose? He hadn't. He swore he hadn't.

The mouthful of energy bar that had a moment ago tasted so good, now tasted like stale cardboard. He swallowed thickly as he moved out of the transport and through the hallway, ignoring anyone around him. He needed something to drink. He was thirsty as hell.

Finally, he reached his quarters and, once inside, sank wearily onto his bed. A bottle of water sat on an overturned box next to the bed, left over from the night before and he drank from it, quickly, not caring that it was warm. After a few moments, the bottle empty, he lowered it and counted to ten--in Ancient-- as he tried to reign in his emotions. He could feel himself calming down now, slowly. He felt like he'd been on the edge of pure panic since the moment he'd tried to take a sip of coffee in the medical lab. He'd gone from feeling invulnerable, to slightly uneasy about the device not coming off, to feeling completely doomed. All day long the fear had increased, and yet no one… not Carson, not Elizabeth, not even Major Sheppard…noone really seemed a bit concerned.

Rodney looked at the energy bar still in his hand. His hand shook as he lifted the snack to his mouth. He'd been shaky for a whilenow, not that he'd have told anyone that. They'd only roll their eyes and make 'that face'—a face that said thatthey didn't get it, believe it or care. Damn, but he was tired of 'that face'. He thought he'd left it behind when he'd left home so long ago. But somehow, no matter where he went, how far he went, or even what galaxy he went to…there was always 'that face'.

Didn't folks here understand he hadn't eaten for hours? Hours! Taking a bite he forced himself to chew it slowly. Oh, somewhere inside,part of him had guessed that the personal shield would probably come off before he actually starved to death, but he hadn't known for sure. There was so much about this place that was unknown, so much they weren't prepared for. He looked around the cluttered room, boxes strewn haphazardly as he'd begun to unpack the fewthings he'd been allowed to bring. They hadn't expected anything like the Wraith and as if that wasn't enough…they now had some pissed off blob of darkness roaming the halls of the city, intent on sucking up all the energy it could find. The very thought of the shapeless black cloud terrified Rodney. He'd seen what it was capable of. It had sizzled poor Ford like a hot dog on a summer barbeque. There was no way he was going to get anywhere close to that thing.

Rodney swallowed again and looked at the empty wrapper, wondering if he could rustle up a sandwich from the commissary.

What had he been thinking when he signed up for this mission anyway? His mind jumped wildly from thought to thought. Sure, he was the foremost expert on gate technology, but this, this was so far beyond any lab he'd ever worked in. He longed for the safety of his lab on earth for a moment before his eyes settled on the ancient device lying discardedon the bed next to him.

He picked it up. The green crystal was dull now instead of the bright glowing green and he ran his fingertips gingerly over the sculpted edges. He thought again of that brief but exhilarating feeling of being invulnerable. Never in his life had he felt so safe, even if it was only for a brief time, until he'd feared he'd never get the device off…but still, the power he'd felt. It'd been so exciting to try the device in the first place and he'd honestly gotten to like Major Sheppard a bit during their tests. It'd been fun. Would he really have traded that brief experience for the safety of is lab back on earth?

No, he wouldn't trade this adventure for anything, not when he really thought about it. His hand tightened on the device and his fingers twitched. Distractedly he looked around the room again, suddenly longing for his cat. Right now what he'd give anythingto have that cat curl up on his lap and let him scratch behind his ears. He sighed again and slipped the personal shield back into his pocket.

Never before had he even imagined the things he'd already seen in the last few days, both marvelous and terrifying. He'd even enjoyed the easy camaraderie he'd felt with Major Sheppard earlier, when they were testing the device, but it was that dismissive tone that the Major had just used on him that made him doubt himself and his place here. He'd thought, believed that he and Sheppard had started a real friendship earlier, but now… Sheppard's harsh reaction to him in the lab made him feel like it was over before it'd really had a chance.

No. He shook his head and stood, searching the boxes again until he found what he needed. Grabbing his flashlight, he took another long breath. He might not be as brave as Major Sheppard or as diplomatic as Elizabeth, he might not rush headlonginto adventures with no hesitation about what the consequence might be or what might happen, specifically to him…but as he looked again around his small quarters on the city of Atlantis, The Lost City of Atlantis…a sense of purpose settled over him. This was where he belonged.

Atlantis needed him, just assuredly as the others here did, whether they ended up his friends or not. He belonged in the Pegasus Galaxy and from now on, he decided, he wasn't going to let anyone make him doubt himself again.

Let the Major save the day. Let Sheppard face down the monster blob and trap it in the box that he, Rodney, had figured out and got working. He could handle that. He could be content with figuring out how things work and then let the Major do the actual working.

Let the others roll their eyes and laugh at him. Let them make 'that face' if they wanted; to hell with them. He knew the truth. He was needed here. They needed him. It was a brave thing to travel to another galaxy with no way to get home…even if it did scare the tar out of him. It was brave to simply be here. So what if he didn't volunteer to rush into dangerous situations;that didn't mean he was a coward. It didn't mean he wouldn't do what was needed when he had to, it just meant one would never again see Rodney McKay doing anything impulsive or foolish.

Rodney glanced at his watch. He needed to get to the control room before they turned all the power off, that way he'd be able to communicate with the Major if necessary while they lured the blob into its trap. Thank God he didn't have to get as close to that thing as Sheppard. He smiled briefly, comfortable with the knowledge that it was not his place to save the day. If he hurried, he could still grab that sandwich.


	3. Ready or Not

_Title: Ready or Not_

_Author: sablecain_

_Disclaimers and acknowledgments in part one_

_Summary: the follow up_

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"Man down," Rodney quipped as the medical team surrounded him and began to check him over. He didn't want to think about what he'd just done…what Elizabeth said he'd done. Fact was he couldn't remember much of it. He remembered watching the gateroom fill with the huge dark entity and remembered holding the shield device and knowing, despite his near-paralyzing fear, he was their only option.

His head throbbed as he strained to remember more. Dizziness swept over him and he swallowed a sudden wave of nausea. What was wrong with him?

"You alright, sir?" one of the medics questioned.

"Yeah, fine. Fine." Rodney tried to sound confident, as his thoughts drifted again.

No one had noticed him putting the shield on or slipping out behind them. It wasn't until he'd reached the first landing that he'd heard Sheppard calling his name. He glanced up at John now, still talking with Teyla. He remembered the concern in the Major's voice and the fear as John had run towards him. It'd helped strengthen Rodney's resolve; he'd known he couldn't let John stop him. He had to keep going whether he was ready of not.

That was about all he could recall, he realized as the medics helped him to his feet. Everything else was a blur of darkness.

"You okay?"

Rodney looked up, realizing John was talking to him.

"Yeah. Fine, just…" His thoughts were sluggish. What was he trying to say? God, his head really hurt.

"Rodney?" Elizabeth turned toward him. "Are you sure you're okay? We could use your help getting the main power back online."

"Right. Sure. Yes, I'm fine." Rodney tried to shake off his confusion. It was just the stress of the day, he told himself. It'd been a long one with a roller coaster of emotions and the intense fear ofwalking into that entity…he hadn't gotten burned at all…he'd just passed out.

"Here, McKay." Grodin handed him the ancient device, dull green again. "I think it's drained of all its power," Peter commented almost apologetically.

"Thanks, yeah. Probably." Rodney slipped it into his pocket. The Medical team had backed off now; suitably assured that he was no worse for wear. Quietly, he turned and followed Elizabeth up the steps to the control room. It felt like he was trying to climb a mountain and he paused on the landing as another wave of dizziness threatened to make him sick.

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John finished his conversation with Teyla as he kept an eye on McKay. Even though Rodney had pretty much shrugged off the medical team's attention, Sheppard was concerned. Something wasn't right.

At first, he'd just assumed that McKay had passed out from the stress of the situation, but now…as he watched Rodney's slow, stilted movements up the stairs, he was wondering if there was something more to it.

He watched as McKay paused halfway up and swayed slightly before he continued on his way. Yup, something was definitely wrong.

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Rodney starred down at the control panels. He knew this. Why couldn't he just fix it? Panic flared through him and he looked around anxiously to see if anyone was paying attention, but thankfully everyone seemed busy. Why couldn't he get this? He already knew this control room better than anyone else on Atlantis, but why couldn't he concentrate on it now? He rubbed his temple and commanded himself to calm down. "Think. Think," he whispered frantically. Then, instantly, he knew what to do. He pressed the correct sequence of crystals and watched the panels as they showed that power was now restored to the parts of the city currently in use. He sighed with relief. Maybe he just needed rest. It was late after all, and it'd been forever since he'd taken the time torest.

Elizabeth stopped him on the way out of the gateroom. "I want to thank you again, Rodney." She smiled. "It was a brave thing you did."

He blushed, not knowing how to respond. He didn't feel brave, he just felt…sick. It was a slow trip to his quarters and, by the time he got there, his head was killing him. It pounded, throbbing with his pulse and even the muted lights in the hallway burned like he was staring right at the sun. He just wanted to curl up in his bed and sleep until he felt better.

Inside his room, McKay slid under the covers of his bed and tried to get comfortable, but he ached all over and it felt like his bed was floating. He felt like he had the one time his father had attempted to take him fishing. Out on the lake in a row boat…all Rodney could do was turn green and throw up over the side.

Suddenly he was leaning over the edge of his bed, retching. The smell and sounds of his own illness just made him all the more sick until he was wracked with dry heaves. He could hear his dad complaining that he was too weak to control himself and he closed his burning eyes and wiped his runny nose on his sleeve. God, he was so tired.

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John wasn't sure he was doing the right thing but he decided he'd take the chance.

"So, tell me again wha' happened?" Carson said as they walked towards Rodney's quarters. He listened as John described everything again.

"So you aren't sure he actually fainted then?"

"I thought so, assumed so," John admitted. "But watching him, I'm not so sure now."

"You think that thing did something else to him?" Beckett inquired worriedly, shifting his duffle of med supplies from one hand to the other.

"I don't now. He wasn't burned at all and he sounded okay too…just different."

"How so?"

John frowned. "How would you expect McKay to act if he'd just saved the day like he did?"

Carson grinned. "Arrogant as hell."

"Exactly. He didn't though, he looked pale and acted almost confused."

They slowed as they reached the door to Rodney's room.

"Do you think he could have hit his head?" Beckett asked, lowering his voice.

John shrugged again. "It's possible. He was unconscious." New worry filled him. Was there some side effect of the entity they didn't know about? Or of the personal shield? Had draining its power while it was in use hurt McKay? He took a deep breath and looked at Beckett for reassurance as he knocked on Rodney's door.

"Don't worry, lad." Carson managed a small smile. "We'll figure it out."

No one responded to Sheppard's knock. "McKay?" hecalled out, knocking again. He didn't want to wake everyone else with a commotion, not that everyone was settled. Still there was no response.

John exchanged a questioning look with Beckett. "Should we?"

"Worst he can do it get mad at us."

John chuckled. "I can live with that." The thought crossed his mind as he willed McKay's door open. Now that Rodney had the ATA gene, John figured he could be setting himself up for a nasty instance of revenge, but it didn't stop him.

"Ugh!" The smell caught him off guard and he distractedly covered his nose and mouth until his eyes settled on Rodney. McKay lay on the edge of his bed, his skin pasty and his brow furrowed with pain. "Shit," John exclaimed as Carson jumped into action.

"Get some wet towels so I can clean him up," Beckett ordered. "Rodney? Rodney? Come on talk to me."

John heard McKay groan and hoped it was a good sign. Quickly he grabbed a handful of towels from the tiny bathroom in Rodney's quarters and wet them down in the sink before hetossed them to Carson. He watched anxiously as Beckett wiped down Rodney's face, gently talking to the physicist the whole time, trying to elicit a real response.

McKay was sluggish, his words slurred and unintelligible. John worried as he watched Carson shine a penlight in each of Rodney's eyes checking his reactions.

Beckett swore softly.

"Damn it. Knock it off," Rodney slurred, uncoordinated as he tried to bat Carson's hands away. "Quit trying to blind me," he snarled harshly.

"Easy now," Carson placated, folding one of the clean wet towels and placing it across Rodney's eyes. "Yer head hurting?"

"Dumb question." McKay bit his lower lip as Carson gently ran his hands over his head, searching intently. He hissed and jerked away from Beckett as the doctor's hands touched the back of his head. The towel slid off his eyes and onto the bed.

"Okay, then." Carson looked up at John. "Radio for a team to transport him to the Medical lab."

"No. I'm staying here," McKay attempted to argue, but pouted instead.

"You need a CT scan and it stinks in here," Beckett explained softly, but McKay seemed to have drifted offagain.

"Will he be okay?" John asked after radioing for help.

"Aye, I believe he will." Carson stood slowly. "You saw his reactions. I'm guessing he managed to hit his head on the floor pretty hard. Gave himself a concussion. We'll do a scan to make sure nothing more serious is going on." His eyes met John's. "He'll be fine. I'm sure. Quit worrying."

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Rodney opened his eyes slowly, blinking as his eyes adjusted to the dimly lit surroundings. It took him a minute to recognize the tall dark skinned doctor standing over him. "Sorry to disturb your rest, but Dr. Beckett asked me to wake you regularly."

"Why?" Rodney's voice was thick, his throat dry.

"You have a concussion."

Rodney looked beside him, surprised to find John sitting there, slouched in a chair he'd obviously dragged in from somewhere else. He felt the doctor's hand wrap around his wrist as the soft-spoken man checked his vitals.

"What are you doing here?" heasked Sheppard. "How'd I get here?"

John grinned but waited until the doctor was finished before speaking. "Carson and I found you in your quarters, sick and way out of it."

"You came to my quarters?" McKay looked shocked.

"Yeah." Sheppard looked away, watching as the Doctor moved to another occupied bed.

"Hush now, Olivia. You need to go back to sleep, your mama will be back in the morning." The man tenderly tucked the small Athosian girl back under her covers.

"Why?" Rodney pulled his attention back.

Sheppard shrugged. "I was concerned."

"About me?"

"Yeah, about you. I didn't know what that thing might have done to you. Wanted to double check is all."

Rodney looked at John, noticing for the first time the lit candle on the small counter behind Sheppard.

The Major followed Rodney's gaze. "Elizabeth stopped by."

"Oh." Rodney stared at the flickering light. It didn't hurt his eyes. Silence fell between the two men. McKay swallowed. He was so thirsty but he didn't want to ask for anything.

"You want anything?" Sheppard questioned abruptly.

"Water, maybe?" McKay stared as John turned and reached for a cup already on the counter. How had he done that? The bed was elevated enough that Rodney could take the cup on his own,but he noticed that Sheppard kind of hovered close by. The cool water felt wonderful on his throat. "Thanks," hesaid when he'd had enough and John took the cup again.

McKay settled deeper into the pillow, feeling very tired again and not sure what to think of the whole situation. "You don't have to stay," he managed quietly.

"I know." John slouched in the chair again. "Go back to sleep. I'll leave when I'm ready."

Rodney closed his eyes, already beginning to drift. His head didn't seem to ache as badly as before and his thoughts felt clearer. He knew he should feel awkward with Sheppard sitting right there, but instead he felt--comfortable. He'd never had a friend who'd just sit quietly with him before, he realized…or one like Elizabeth, who'd bring him a candle even after he'd scoffed at the idea earlier. It meant a lot to him, he discovered as sleep began to settle over him. It meant a lot to have friends.


End file.
